The Anniversary of the First Year of my Husband's Passing

 

Today I am having a tea in honor of my beloved hubby on the anniversary of his passing.
I can't believe that it's been a whole year and yet it seems like only yesterday. Even though I know he's gone, I still find it hard to believe.  I'm using his Ohio State insulated cup that our daughter gave him. It's filled with Lipton tea...none of that "sissy, flavored tea", in his honor. Growing up in Ohio, he was a huge Ohio State fan. The candle, from our youngest son and DIL that they brought back from Notre Dame Cathedral, will be lit. I'll be serving his favorite dessert, which can be found here.

Even though I've had a year of sadness and heartache, in many forms, here is what I have learned about grief and loss this past year:

Grief never really leaves us and is certainly unpredictable. Just a memory or a thought will trigger tears. Where would I be if I didn't have these thoughts? I've realized that tears are blessings of my wonderful life with Rich.

Self pity is to be expected, but cooking, baking, crocheting, reading, sewing, blogging and doing things with my grandchildren have kept me busy with projects.

All things take time. Rich's clothes are still hanging in the closet and are still in his drawers. His office is still not cleared. One day, I'll be able to deal with it.

Trying to understand the death of a loved one, as with so many things in life, DOES NOT LEAD TO PEACE.

Find childlike wisdom and humor whenever you can. My three year old granddaughter kept asking where Papa was. I would reply, "He's in heaven." When I finally knew that it was time to sell his car after many months, and she didn't see his car in the garage any more, she asked , "Did Papa take his car with him?". She would also ask, "Is Papa coming back?" I would tell her that he wasn't. She answered, "It's not fair!" I guess that's a first lesson in how life is not always fair.

Talking about your loved one keeps their memory alive.

I have realized that I'm stronger than I thought.

Being with family and friends adds joy and purpose to my life.

Some holidays can be worse than others. For Christmas, I couldn't bear the thought of sitting at the dining room table, so we didn't. Valentine's Day was hard; Mother's Day was not. Not having the father of my children here on Father's Day was especially difficult. You just never know how all these "firsts" will affect you.

There will always feel like a piece of me is missing with Rich gone from my life. A friend wrote me and said that there will always be a void and nothing will ever replace it. Life is forever bittersweet.

I tried a Grief Support group at my church and found that it didn't help me. You must do what feels right for you.

Family and friends keep his spirit alive through acts of unending kindness.

My never ending faith has sustained me.

Even though my beloved Rich is gone from my life, I have only to look in the eyes of my four children and my grandchildren to see glimpses of him. Yes, he lives on in them.

Rich will forever hold a place in my heart and being married to him for 43 years was a gift. I'm not sure how the next year(s) will be, but I have survived this year.   Thank you all for helping me through this journey along this first year of grief. You have lifted me up through your thoughtfulness, kindness and prayers. I have prayed for peace and strength, and God has helped me.   I  have come to the realization that we are in charge of our own happiness, and we must live our lives with thankfulness. 

I am sharing this with:


Make It Pretty Monday
Tea Time Tuesday
Tuesday Cuppa Tea
Friends Sharing Tea
Tea Cup Tuesday
Share Your Cup

Thank you for your visit! xo